Wonderful Winterizing

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It’s cold and rainy, you’ve rearranged your tools three times, you’ve repaired things around the house that were perfectly good in the first place, you’ve irritated the dog, you’ve searched through the boxes in the spare room cupboard for things you think you might have lost, you’ve irritated your wife and you’ve changed TV channels 35 times since you collapsed onto the couch five minutes ago.

While flicking channels, your mind tosses and turns in an uneasy suspended animation, a flux of sorts that culminates in a horrific hiatus and during the rollercoaster downhill of jumbled thoughts that follow, your mind eventually spits out the answer to the pressing question that’s been nagging you for so long.

What should I do in my spare time during winter? The answer to this burning question is of course very simple, as it doesn’t involve discovering new technologies to alleviate the world’s current energy crisis such as a perpetual movement motor developed in the depths of a dimly lit garage.

No, it involves tinkering with your favourite girl, stripping her to her bare bits and giving her a good once-over. We’ll give you a few moments to get your mind out of the gutter, and when you do eventually surface from your memorable meander down lingerie lane, we can get down to preparing your boat for those cold winter months.

The symptom: cabin fever.

The cause: procrastination.

The cure: winterising your boat.


Take as much unnecessary gear as you can off your boat. This includes lifejackets, electronics, cushions, fishing rods and any other items that are not a fixture on the boat and can be damaged by the cold, wet weather.

Clean out the galley of all foodstuffs because you don’t want to return to the boat after winter has passed to find 12 new strains of bacteria, mould and a veritable minefield of mushrooms thriving below deck.

Also, remove all pots and pans and run them through the dishwasher at home to get them sparkling clean.

Remember to get rid of all rubbish and waste on board as it will attract flies and rats.


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